Dream Journal Create #7 - The dawn of a new beginning.
I've always disliked the phrase "moving on" because to me, being literal I always wonder where and what exactly 'on' is. I understand the intentions and motivations behind the words, the need to find new directions in life, to leave behind what has been done. But to me, 'on' is somewhere we never seem to reach, it is as if we are stuck in a perpetual state of wanting and waiting for something or someone more, to have purpose. We encapsulated and frozen in a state of discontent.
When Geraldine, Kelly and I were discussing the theme for this month's blog posts, I felt for me May was a month of New Beginnings with lots of different things happening within my home and wider family unit. I don't see it as 'moving on', as for me it implies dissatisfaction and discontent with my current life. That is not to say that there are times when I've faced frustration and exhaustion with what is currently lacking - because believe me, living with a camping oven and stove for five years has been tough!! - but I am in a current new beginning. A beginning that is coming to end so another may start. I cherish what has happened thus far, each piece has fallen the way it has to allow me to reach this point of another new beginning.
One of the biggest and most immediate changes for me this May is the arrival of our cabin, which is due Monday 7th! Up until now I have shared my work space with the spare room. Well I say spare room, there isn't any room, when someone comes to stay I have to move everything to my own bedroom to allow them space to actually sleep. However, even then they have to navigate my piles of fabric, leather or craft materials. J has been working on the landing, and he is reaching the point where he has outgrown the space. So it'll be the working environment for us both. That'll be fun! He is very minimalistic and doesn't like mess (despite the fact he is a real talent for creating it!) and I work in a state of perpetual chaos.
The prospect of having a cabin/garden office has been in the works for a while but it is finally coming to fruition. I will no longer feel like I'm working in a state of flux. I will have a sense of permanence and I can finally organise my space into work stations rather working on top of myself.
I promise I don't live like a pig, these photos do not represent my general living. They do, however, provide a snapshot into just how crazy my work space can get!
In a funny way it also feels like I'm growing up. I know that sounds like a silly thing for a 28 year old to be saying, but is almost akin to that feeling of living independently for the first time. Exhilarating and frightening in equal measure. My business is no longer just a hobby, something for me to tinker away at. It is fully formed and legitimate.
Something sort of funny happened along the way, when May's new beginnings began to open itself up. With all the changes happening externally, something has also happened within. It is as if in welcoming the new directions of May I have also inadvertently developed a new sense of self. I'm a buzz with positivity and confidence. I've always considered myself a non fully fledged pessimist, more an optimist with experience. But the magic of a new beginning has brought out the eternal optimist in me. It feels all rainbows and sunshine, despite some of the rather difficult and sad events happening within my familial network.
It has been some time since I last posted a blog post, March and April sort of ran away with me and before I knew it they had zipped past. I also haven't been doing much creatively, outside of work, during this time. However, again May has brought back the creative in me and I've been dedicating time to creating in whatever way takes my fancy. I've found myself being braver in my creative choices, pushing the boundaries of my artistic lines. I would normally have shied away from mixing such a background or using such bold photographs of myself. But here I am doing it :)
I think I'll wrap it up here otherwise I'll be rambling on for quite some time.
I'm loving this group more and more each day <3<3 and you are all such wonderful inspirational souls. I cannot wait for the month to progress and see more of your gorgeous journal pages!!
Till next time guys xx