Skip to main content

Dream Create Journal #6 - A lesson in Reflection

Quite a short post from me this time. I've been struggling the last couple of nights with a bad bout of Insomnia. At the minute I feel like I'm walking through the day waist deep in Treacle, everything is running in slow motion, basically jetlag without the holiday. I hope to give you a more art and photo filled post next time, but for now I'll include images of my safe place.


Incidentally whilst I was writing this blog post Geraldine posted a link to her post on her own blog where she mentions the way to living your Truth is to discover the things you perhaps did not know about yourself and to also consider the aspects of ourselves we may not like. It struck a cord with me because I too had come to same conclusion.



Often when I've washed my dreads I'll sit in front of my mirror and blow dry my hair, a mirror is not exactly required for the job of blow drying ones hair but it seems to be something I do. Occasionally, I will find myself staring at my own reflection, having drifted off into space, lost in some random thought or another. To tell you the truth (ha!) my first (this) post for the new direction of Dream Create Journal has been troubling me, I've not really known what I want to say and when I do I'm not sure how to say it. So there I am thinking about it all and I find myself staring at my reflection once again and I realised that in order to find what is True and what is real for me, I would have to really look at who I am. And there with my gaze held straight into my own eyes, stripped of the comfort of my social defences, fresh faced and slightly pink from my shower I see them, swimming beneath the surface. The Ugly Truths. The Truths you have spent your life denying, repressing and concealing from others but also from yourself. Truths that may carry shame, guilt or social stigma. To acknowledge them requires strength and courage, to admit them requires a level of acceptance that may not ever be reached. 


For me, I've been running from an Ugly Truth my whole life. It's something I've never wanted to accept and so I've always brushed it off, made excuses to myself and reasoned out the results. I've given every excuse under the sun to those around me, I've hidden and skirted around the subject. I've balked at accusations and retaliated with aggression. I've projected and I've accused in kind. I'm now at the point where I'm able to admit to it, maybe not to everyone, but at least to myself. Still not without difficulty nor without inwardly cringing every time I say it but surprisingly, the burden and weight this ugly truth holds is getting easier to carry. I am making peace with it.


I apologise if that remains rather abstract, I've written and rewritten this post several times, trying to find a balance, to share enough but not so much that I feel exposed. I hope I've managed to convey enough meaning. The process of writing my own story, or at least beginning to do so, through Dream Create Journal, has focused my mind and narrowed my attention to certain things and whilst I'm able to begin to accept these things on a personal quiet level I'm not quite there to share them with you all.

In accepting the Ugly, Unpleasant or Unknown Truths they no longer contain the same negative energy, they occupy less space in your mind and in your heart. They hold less control on the Truths you set, and in turn make true about yourself. As Lucretius said way back when “....truths kindle light for truths”

Till next time guys x

Comments

  1. This comment has been removed by a blog administrator.

    ReplyDelete

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

Dream Journal Create #7 - The dawn of a new beginning.

I've always disliked the phrase "moving on" because to me, being literal I always wonder where and what exactly 'on' is. I understand the intentions and motivations behind the words, the need to find new directions in life, to leave behind what has been done. But to me, 'on' is somewhere we never seem to reach, it is as if we are stuck in a perpetual state of wanting and waiting for something or someone more, to have purpose. We encapsulated and frozen in a state of discontent. 

When Geraldine, Kelly and I were discussing the theme for this month's blog posts, I felt for me May was a month of New Beginnings with lots of different things happening within my home and wider family unit. I don't see it as 'moving on', as for me it implies dissatisfaction and discontent with my current life. That is not to say that  there are times when I've faced frustration and exhaustion with what is currently lacking - because believe me, living with a c…

Wave-tastic Vibes

Wave-tastic Vibes

Well no one can say that Summer isn't here, with all this...err glorious? sunshine! I'm definitely not a hot weather girl so I'm properly hermitting away in the house, with the curtains drawn and windows thrown open. I will also admit to sitting in front of the fan and producing a robot voice, on more than one occasion....ways to fill the hours, eh?
My creativity has taken a bit of a hiatus, since the construction of the cabin commenced and I'm so glad to have finally moved the motherlode of craft supplies in. I still need to insulate the roof so at the minute it is doubling up as sauna. Rather suits one of Anna's themes for this month's Patreon collage sheets, minus the beach and the sea...near enough!

(Excuse the half dead lily.....it is a victim of the Craft Cabin Sauna!)
I was itching to get creating when Anna sent over this months collage sheets, although to be fair that is true for most months, but I have a real tie to the seaside so I was e…

Dream Create Journal: Changing it up

So recently I've had this obsession with drawing and painting lilies. I've taken it upon myself to create the artwork for the invites for my wedding next year (eeek!) and so I've been creating lily after lily. I can't seem to settle on one I like so I've just kept going....at some point I need to make a decision as I really should get them sent out to people, but the perfectionist in me won't let me settle on one, but for the moment I'm happy prattling away lol. I've still got time!
Also with the colder weather drawing in and the darker evenings on the way J and I have been enjoying more cosy nights in, in front of our new log burning stove. I grew up with a log burning stove in my parents house so I'm massively excited about the winter ahead! A year or two ago we purchased a hand smithed fire poker, we've now decided we'd also like a companion set for our fire and I've been spending time looking into blacksmiths and ironmongers.
This …